Today I wanted to share a little bit of why I’m giving birth with a midwife for my third pregnancy and also share some interesting things I’ve learned since deciding to go the midwife route. It was a really tough decision and if you decide to go the midwife route for any of your pregnancies, my biggest advice would be to interview a few before you select who will be your provider.
You obviously want to “click” with the midwife and make sure that what’s important to you during your pregnancy and labor/birth of your baby is also essential to that midwife.
During my last pregnancy with my daughter, I had a great OB and loved the interactions I had with him leading up to her birth. He was amazing and listened to my fears, concerns, and what I wanted my ideal birth situation to look like.
This was super important to me because at the end of the day, OBs are surgeons and I didn’t want to end up with an unnecessary c-section because of a stalled labor or any other medically unnecessary reason to have one.
First Pregnancy
During my first pregnancy – I had an OB who was on shift at the hospital during the time of my labor who literally gave me a time cap on how much longer I could labor for before he was coming back in to prep me to have a c-section. At 21 years old, this was absolutely terrifying. I didn’t like the fear tactics that the OB used and I was determined NOT to have that happen with my daughter’s labor.
Second Pregnancy
So, with my second pregnancy, I had an amazing OB, but I had some questionable moments in the hospital with one nurse who continued to try and pressure me into doing something I didn’t want to do.
Then, during the actual pushing/giving birth portion, I had 3 extra people in the room outside of my husband, my doula, my nurse, and my OB. For me and my personal preference – I don’t want that again.
What I wanted differently this time
After more research and learning more about my specific wants and needs in my pregnancy, I decided with my third that I want complete control over some things.
- My environment/where I give birth
- More personalized care leading up to birth AND postpartum care
- A natural, holistic approach to care during pregnancy and labor
- Freedom to move as I choose
- Freedom in position to birth
- Having non-coached pushing
- No unnecessary medical interventions
- A peaceful entering into the world for the baby
Environment
I crave an environment that is peaceful, stress-free, and an ambiance of warmth to welcome the new life of my baby. I don’t want the sterile-ness of a hospital with bright lights and the coldness of the unfamiliarity.
Personalized care
My midwife appointments last at least an hour each time I visit. We cover everything. Things that I didn’t know we needed to cover, things that I want to go in-depth about for 20-30 minutes, and things that I just want to talk about because I feel comfortable sharing with her as my provider.
The entire process has been transformative just during our monthly visits. I’ve learned so much about how to treat different things that come in during pregnancy, but also things that have come up in my normal life and have been able to treat naturally. At the core issue. Using preventative methods versus reactive medications. No bandaids.
Postpartum care
Unlike an OB, my midwife does additional postpartum care outside of the standard 6-week check-up. This includes a visit 24 hours post-birth, 3-7 day visit, 2 week, 4 week, 6 week, 8-10 week, and the final 12 week.
I will get 6 additional visits with my midwife versus what I got with my OB.
To me – that’s care. That’s incredible. My midwife will also help with breastfeeding if needed at those appointments and check in on my emotional well-being.
I honestly would have signed up with a midwife with just those last two things because breastfeeding can be really hard and sometimes you feel like you’ve got it and then the next day you feel like you don’t.
Additionally, considering the mom’s emotional well-being is so important after having a baby. One word – hormones. They are still going through your body after baby and there are highs you feel after giving birth, but there are lows too. And postpartum depression, anxiety, and rage are all real things. Having adequate care around this topic is super near and dear to me.
(Side note: the 6-week check-up at an OB’s office is generally to make sure things have healed well either if you had a c-section or vaginal birth. The extent of this check-up, in my opinion, is lacking and I feel like more factors should come into play with whether or not you are “cleared” for certain activities.)
Holistic approach
If something can be treated with an adequate diet, supplements, and vitamins, and healed from the inside using preventative approaches then — Sign me up! I’d rather do my best upfront to deter things that could potentially happen.
Case in point – (TMI… be warned) pregnant women are more prone to UTIs, and I had one when I was in my first trimester. Instead of being told to go to the doctor to get put on an antibiotic, my midwife sent me a UTI protocol. Then, once my UTI was cleared, I had clear directions on a protocol for maintenance to help prevent me from getting a UTI in the future.
Freedom
Who wouldn’t want this? Everyone human being craves freedom. So to be told in a hospital that you can only do this, this, and that and you can’t do this, this, and that… automatically creates an unwelcoming environment with undue stress.
Having the freedom to move around while I’m in labor as much as I want to is so important. You need to move during labor. Sitting or laying in bed is when stalled labors happen (at least for me that is).
I also want to be able to labor in water and this isn’t an option at the hospital due to hygienic reasons.
Having the freedom to be in whichever position feels best for me is also one of my priorities. I don’t want to give birth on my back. I want to do what feels natural, to move if something feels better, and to be in the optimal position for… I’m gonna warn you again… TMI coming up.. tearing as less as possible (hopefully no tears).
This also brings up coached pushing. It’s so unnatural and I get that a lot of OBs are practicing coached pushing because most women have epidurals, but it’s still unnatural to push for 10 seconds every single time a woman pushes.
Interventions
My personal experience with interventions has ranged from full-blown being induced with my son to what I would call being partially induced with my daughter. Both inductions included other interventions that weren’t medically necessary, but giving birth in a hospital is a business and they want you in and out of the hospital as fast as possible.
Why?
So that another mom can fill the bed that you were in.
I won’t go into full detail about the interventions that I had, but most of them were unnecessary and when you know better you do better and that’s the goal with this 3rd birth.
With my midwife, she really focuses on informed consent, and even before she listens to my baby’s heartbeat or touches my belly she asks if it’s okay with me. I love the care and respect behind that practice.
Baby entering the world
This honestly is just a super big personal preference because I’ve only had hospital births, but I want the baby to enter the world gently. The entire birth process is a lot for the baby to go through so if I can mitigate as much as I can to allow it to be peaceful then I will.
In a hospital, as soon as the baby is born the nurse has a towel and is rubbing away at the baby’s skin – usually this causes the vernix to come off of the baby. The vernix is actually really good for the baby to keep on their skin.
I understand they are also getting the blood off the baby and all the other things that come with birth, but for me… I don’t care about that stuff. I just really don’t want an aggressive, jarring first experience in the world for my baby.
So, the goal this time is to have a water birth. To let my baby gently enter the world. To have Jose and I be the first people who touch the baby and hold the baby. To have those first few moments just us three getting to see each other for the first time and get to know each other.
Uninterrupted peace.
Conclusion
This has been a long blog post, so if you’re still here – thanks for sticking through it! Pregnancy, labor, and birth are all very passionate subjects for me and I can talk about them forever!
A few interesting things that I’ve learned with having a midwife (neither good or bad, but good to know):
- There are some reasons that a transfer to the hospital during labor is needed because of medical necessity
- The midwife that I’m using is unable to facilitate a homebirth after 42 weeks (per Oklahoma law)
- My midwife is on call for my baby’s birth starting at 37 weeks
- Payment is outside insurance, but depending on your insurance some can be reimbursed after the fact (specific paperwork has to be filled out)
- My midwife does a home visit in the 3rd trimester
I can’t wait to share how my full experience goes when I actually give birth! Stay tuned for the birth story in a few months!!!
This post was all about why I’m giving birth with a midwife for my third pregnancy.
Stay in the loop with my weekly pregnancy updates.
Share below if you’ve used a midwife before! I’d love to hear. 🙂