My Natural Home Birth Story

“My body has never gone into labor on its own so I’m scared and nervous that it doesn’t know how to.” The first thing I said to my midwife when we were trying to figure out if a home birth was possible for us.

Why a natural home birth?

I’ve always wanted to attempt a natural home birth, but a combination of funds + not fully trusting my body to know what to do always pulled me away from the natural home birth space.

I was induced with my son and my daughter, so my body was never given a chance to go into labor on its own.

The first thing I brought up to my midwife during my third pregnancy was that I didn’t think my body actually knew how to go into labor without a form of induction.

Yet, I wanted a home birth anyway. I wanted to trust my body to do what a woman’s body can do. I wanted an all-natural, unmedicated, out-of-hospital (and away from hospital policies) birth for my last baby.

The entire time I was pregnant I kept praying and saying that this would be a redemptive, redeeming, fulfilling, powerful birth where I trusted my body to go into labor on its own.

The birth

So onto the actual birth story. What everyone is here for…

I gave birth to Kaysen on December 20th, 2022 at 41 weeks and 2 days. The day before I turned 41 weeks I was texting my midwife to set up a membrane sweep for the next day because I was mentally over being pregnant and started to doubt myself and my body’s capabilities of spontaneous labor. We set up a time for the next evening around 5 pm.

Due to a client’s visit going longer the next day when I was going to have the sweep done, we decided to postpone to the following day at 41 + 1. That next day something came up with my midwife and we shifted everything to the next day, December 20th, at 2 pm to have the sweep. Throughout the reschedules I emotionally would get down about it, but I kept telling myself that it gave me one more day to have my body go into labor on its own.

Lo and behold… at 2:49 am the next day I was texting my midwife to update her that I had been having contractions.

The day before I had been experiencing contractions but I kept telling myself that they were Braxton Hicks and weren’t real. So when she texted me to reschedule the sweep I was like maybe, just maybe, my body is doing what it’s supposed to. But I definitely didn’t get my hopes up at all! I kept going about my day, we took the kids to the playground, had dinner like normal, and did everything else we normally do as I kept getting random contractions.

Early Labor

At 10:40 pm Jose and I finally decided to go to sleep, but at this point, I was having to actually be present in my body and breathe through the contractions. Thankfully though I was able to go to sleep. Almost 2 hours later I woke up to a really strong contraction, went pee, and then laid back down and started tracking my contractions. They were a minute long and coming every 8-9 minutes. I tracked three more contractions and they remained pretty far apart so I crossed my fingers and tried to will myself back to sleep.

Sleep didn’t happen.

So, I texted my doula, Emily, an hour later letting her know that I was getting consistent contractions. She replied back with some encouraging words, asked some questions, and told me to update her if anything changed. I stayed in bed, and continued to try and will myself to sleep because at this point I was thinking okay, I’m in labor, but I’ve only slept for 2 hours and my labors are usually over 30+ hours long and I don’t want to be completely exhausted.

Active Labor

Guess what? Sleep was not my friend that night because I didn’t see it again.

Two hours later I texted Emily again and let her know that my contractions were now 1.5 minutes long and coming every 6-7 minutes and I was having to breathe through them and they were definitely more intense.

Finally I woke up Jose and told him that I need him and that I wanted to go out into the living room and move through some different positions. When we went out into the living room Jose gave me some counterpressure on my hips for a few contractions and then I asked him to get the pool set up between contractions just to have it ready for when it was time.

Setting up the pool didn’t happen because I continued to have contractions closer and closer and longer and longer. But, I’ll get to the birth pool situation in a little bit… (hahaha)

I went back and forth about having Emily come this early in labor, but mentally I felt like I just needed her there. She had attended Zoya’s birth and having her in my birth space was truly one of the biggest blessings I could have received.

For the peace that she gives me, to have her wisdom there, and to have another set of hands because I quickly realized I wasn’t going to get through these contractions on my own and without counterpressure on my hips.

If you haven’t had counterpressure done before in labor… I highly suggest it! Contractions are hard work to get through, but the counterpressure someone can give you helps SO much. It gives you another sensation to focus on and it’s also very needed if you have back labor at all.

So, I texted Emily telling her “I think I’ll need you soon” to which she responded with “just say the word… unless that was it?“. I said, “I’m torn. I think so… But it’s so early in the morning“. She replied back, “Karlie, it’s ok! This is birth! When you need support is when you need it“. And I continued contemplating having her come at 4 am in the morning, but one more contraction later I knew I needed her and texted back, “Okay lol I’m ready for you“.

Jose and I continued to track contractions and then I sent a screenshot of the times to my midwife. She asked how I was doing and I let her know the contractions were alright but tougher and that I was having downward pressure and that Emily was on the way over. After talking to her for a bit and describing how I was feeling and doing she asked if I wanted her to come over or wanted more time… and as I started to text her I felt a contraction coming on and so I quickly typed back “more time“.

My contractions were 1-1.5 minutes long and 3 minutes apart.

The funny thing is… after that, my contractions were literally no joke and I never touched my phone again. Looking back now, I probably could have told her to come at that point, but I knew my labors were long and I didn’t for one second think that I’d have a quick labor. I didn’t want Jose, Emily, my midwife, and my assistant midwife all sitting around watching me in labor for 20+ hours.

For their sake… and for mine.

When Emily arrived we really got to work. I had been on the birth ball the entire time leading up to this, but once she got there she had me get up and walk around my living room. So, I walked around in a huge circle, around the couch to the island in our kitchen, had a contraction, and then did the circle again. The goal was to get the baby lower and engaged in my pelvis.

Throughout my contractions, I could still feel him wriggling around, putting pressure on my cervix/in my pelvis, and then wriggling some more. So the game plan was to continue getting through contractions upright and moving/walking as much as possible.

Standing up the contractions were really hard to get through.

I tried to get through as many as I could making laps around the living room, then smaller laps around the kitchen island, but then I needed to sit on the birth ball again to take a break.

Just a few contractions were done on the birth ball and then I needed to pee.

The trip to the bathroom felt like an entire lifetime.

I had one more contraction on the birth ball and then stood up to walk to the bathroom. I took a few steps and instantly had another contraction. I got through that one, passed the threshold of our bedroom, and had another one. I got to the bathroom and leaned against the counter of the sink and had another one. They were coming fast and they were intense.

I was feeling a little nauseous, a little lightheaded, and ready for a break in contractions.

Water Relief

I remember going pee as fast as I could because I didn’t want to have a contraction midway through and then Emily and Jose mentioned getting in the shower. It sounded like a dream so I instantly agreed and they put the birth ball into the shower. I sat on it and had the water falling onto my back… and it was amazing. It felt great and although I wasn’t able to have either of them doing counterpressure on my back – the water definitely helped!

Emily made the water hotter at one point (for me, the hotter the better) and I just sat there breathing through as many contractions as I could. I honestly wanted to stay in there forever because I felt really relaxed and my contractions spaced out a bit. Finally.

I was able to mentally regroup between them and remember telling myself during contractions to just breathe out for 5 seconds, take a breath, and breathe out again for 5 seconds.

This tactic helped me get through them much better because I could do anything for 5 seconds.

Prior to actually being in labor I had told myself that I could do anything for 60 seconds (a roundabout number for how long a contraction would last), but personally breaking the 60 seconds down into 5 seconds was a much smaller, tangible way for me to get through it.

But, the point of labor is to get the baby to move down… and out… and so ultimately I had to get out of the shower and switch to different positions. Later on, looking back at pictures that were taken… I ended up being in the shower for like 45 minutes. That’s how amazing it was! In a weird way, it didn’t feel that long, but it also felt way longer than that.

I feel like time warps while you’re in labor and nothing makes sense at all timewise.

Almost baby time

The next position was a side-lying position on the bed with a peanut ball between my legs to open up my hips. I thought walking around was intense, but that peanut ball was on a whole other level. Let me tell you… not a fan, but it worked!

The contractions ramped up every more and I felt like a switch happened at this point. I’m not sure how long I was here but my top leg started to cramp and I was starting to shake a bit so we decided to switch things up pretty quickly.

I think the suggestion was to walk around some more but the downward pressure was too much that I didn’t make it. I sat on the birth ball in my room next to my bed and got through a couple more contractions that way.

I was feeling really, really exhausted. I didn’t talk much to Jose or Emily when I had a break in between contractions. I turned inwards and stayed reserved because I didn’t have much time between the contractions and I just wanted to make sure I was able to mentally re-focus every time.

The contractions + the downward pressure started to intensify so I requested the shower again since it brought me so much comfort the first time I was in there. We made our way in and as I sat down I kept saying my body is pushing, my body is pushing.

I held back because I thought there was no way I should be pushing right now because I’m not dilated to 10 cm. The next contractions told me I couldn’t really stop my body from pushing if it was ready to push… With how much pressure I was feeling and my body involuntarily pushing we quickly got out of the shower and went to the living room where all I could do was get on my knees and lean over the front of our couch.

My midwife and the assistant midwife had gotten there a few minutes earlier and were getting set up and prepping everything. She asked how I was feeling and I told her my body was pushing on its own and she said that was good!

But I couldn’t believe it… I asked her if she would check to see if I was fully dilated because I felt like I couldn’t even give myself permission to assist my body in pushing until she gave me the official green light. It took a couple of contractions before she did because they were so close together, but she quickly told me that I was fully dilated at 10 centimeters.

I couldn’t believe it!!!

I honestly thought I was going to be in labor until that evening. I mentally had prepared myself for hours and hours more of labor.

Pushing

Hearing I was at a 10 instantly made me give in to what my body was doing on its own and I started to push when my body was pushing.

I kept thinking… I’m going to meet him soon. He’s going to be in my arms before I know it.

This was the hardest/easiest part for me. Pushing when I had a contraction gave me relief from the contraction pain, but it brought on a whole new pain. I honestly can’t even describe it. Hardest part because whoa, pushing a baby out with no pain medication was painful. Easiest part because I knew the end was so close! The moment I had been waiting for.

Soon I felt his head lower and I thought a few times that he was crowning, but he wasn’t. And trust me… I knew when he actually was.

I felt the ring of fire and although it truly did feel like that… I knew that this meant he was only a few pushes away. It lit a whole new level of motivation inside me because I knew in a matter of minutes he would be in my arms, but I first had to push through probably the most painful part of it all.

When Kaysen was crowning I did my best to hold in that position and not push anymore so that I wouldn’t tear, and that part was incredibly intense and hard to do, but it was a huge goal of mine to be patient, not rush the pushing part, and hopefully in doing so… not tear.

I reached down moments before he was born to feel his head and he was still in the sac! I didn’t know it at the time, but it did feel really weird. I didn’t feel his hair, I felt the sac but in that moment I had many other things to think about.

I think I had one or two more pushes and then he was born! My midwife skillfully caught him, unwrapped the umbilical cord from around his neck (it wasn’t tight or anything thankfully) and I reached down between my legs and took him into my arms.

I was slightly in shock that I had done it, that he was here so fast, and that he was actually in my arms just mere hours after going into labor. I kept saying “Oh My God, Oh My God” over and over looking at his beautiful face just absolutely mesmerized by the journey that we both had gone on.

It was exactly, EXACTLY what I wanted in my home birth. Exactly what I needed in my home birth story. Exactly what I dreamed and prayed for with this birth. It truly was something that rocked me to my core and showed me how tough and strong I was and that I could do hard things.

It gave me the sweetest, sweetest reward and I will forever treasure the pictures, the birth video, and the memories of how amazing everyone who surrounded me on the journey was.

Birth Pool Situation

The birth pool was blown up and set up in the living room ready to be filled up with water and when Jose went to take off the hose from the washing machine to set up the pool hose… he couldn’t get the hose off. He actually texted our neighbor to see if he had any pliers he could borrow and our neighbor left his work, got his pliers, and got them to Jose all within like 9 minutes!!! (We have the best neighbors!!!!)

Well, even with the pliers that washer hose would NOT come off.

Plan B was to set it up in our room and disconnect the shower head and hook up the pool hose to that. This actually worked, but by the time I was pushing and Kaysen was almost here, the water in the birth pool was too hot for him and me to be in it.

I tried my hardest to wait so I could deliver him in the pool, but honestly, I was in a great position by the couch and I don’t think I would have made it standing up and walking over to the pool.

My advice? If you’re having a home birth and want to give birth in a birthing pool… do a trial run with the washer hose or the shower head to make sure they come off easily and that you have the proper tools to do it!! LOL!

My birth team

My doula, Emily, was amazing at making sure I was drinking enough water during it all and had a frozen washcloth that she would continually wipe across my forehead, down the sides of my face, and then run across the back of my neck… and those little things really took the birth experience to another level. I felt so loved by both her and Jose throughout the entire journey. They took care of every need to make sure I only had to focus on each contraction. It was truly a gift having two super present, attentive, and supportive people at Kaysen’s birth.

Jose not only had the best hip squeezes but he also wrangled our other two kids out the door at 6:45 in the morning to go to our friend’s house and tried with all his might to get the birth pool filled up with water, and was right there by my side as I brought Kaysen into this world. I’d have 3 more babies with him just to experience birth again. Also, because Jose is the best dad in the world and seeing him love on our kids fills my heart with so much love.

And also because we have the most beautiful babies. Definitely because of that too.

My midwife at the birth was so amazingly efficient and knowledgeable in everything she did and I hands down couldn’t have picked a better midwife. From the care that I received throughout my pregnancy to the care that I receive from her until 12 weeks postpartum… she has expanded my knowledge of the women’s body for the entire lifespan, not just pregnancy, she has helped me with coping with my anxiety, she has encouraged me, she has made me confident in myself and my abilities, she has been a listening ear, she brought so much peace to my heart with making this decision and following through with it, and I couldn’t recommend her enough. Unfortunately, she is moving to Alaska this year, but if I could talk to all my friends who have babies in the future… I would have sent them all to her because she is the best of the best.

I 100% recommend a home birth if that’s what you feel called to do! It truly was a transformative and redemptive birth and I feel so grateful to have been able to experience it all.