Congratulations, Mama! You’ve finally given birth to a beautiful baby, and you’re now a proud member of the “mom club.” But while everyone talks about the joys of motherhood, few people mention the challenges that come with it, especially postpartum.
In this article, I explore the common postpartum struggles that women experience during the postpartum period and provide practical advice to help new mothers navigate this transformative time with confidence and ease.
This post aims to address the common challenges faced by new mothers during the postpartum period, covering topics such as mental health, breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, and the physical changes that occur after giving birth. Throughout my three postpartum periods, I’ve faced each of these postpartum struggles and can tell you without a doubt, this season seems long, but it is so short and it goes by very, very fast. It’s true what they say – the days are long, but the years are short. I blinked and my third is now 5 months old!
As you’ll soon discover, I draw heavily from my personal experiences with postpartum mental health, specifically from my most recent pregnancy. While I’ve navigated these postpartum struggles with each of my three children, it was during my last pregnancy that I faced some of my most significant mental health struggles. Despite the hardships I experienced, I was able to find helpful coping mechanisms and support systems that got me through even the darkest moments.
In sharing my experiences, I hope to offer insight and inspiration to other new mothers who may be grappling with similar challenges.
This post is all about surviving postpartum struggles for new moms.
Surviving Postpartum Struggles
Postpartum Depression
Postpartum depression (PPD) and postpartum anxiety (PPA) are two of the most common mood disorders that affect new mothers. PPD is a type of depression that typically develops within the first few months after childbirth and can last for up to a year or more. Symptoms of PPD can include feelings of sadness, hopelessness, guilt, and worthlessness, as well as a lack of interest in activities that were once enjoyable. Mothers with PPD may also experience sleep disturbances, changes in appetite, and difficulty bonding with their babies.
With my third baby, I experienced an immense loneliness that seemed suffocating at times. To allow me to heal from childbirth, my husband stayed with our two older children in the living room, which left me feeling isolated in our bedroom. I obviously needed this time to slow down and bond and heal, but it was a drastic change from how my everyday life usually is.
Postpartum Anxiety
On the other hand, PPA is a type of anxiety disorder that can also develop within the first few months after childbirth. Symptoms of PPA can include excessive worry or fear, racing thoughts, difficulty sleeping, and physical symptoms such as headaches or muscle tension.
Like PPD, PPA can make it difficult for mothers to enjoy life with their new baby, and may even interfere with their ability to care for their child.
Both PPD and PPA are serious conditions that require prompt attention and treatment. New mothers who are experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety should reach out to their healthcare provider or a mental health professional for support. Treatment for these conditions may include therapy, medication, or a combination of both.
Drawing from my personal experience of dealing with postpartum depression, anxiety, and some anger, I was determined to find natural coping mechanisms that would effectively manage my emotions and enable me to identify warning signs before they escalated out of control. My goal was to take proactive steps toward addressing the symptoms I was experiencing and develop a plan of action to deal with them effectively, so I could continue to lead a healthy, fulfilling life as a new mother.
During my postpartum journey, I found it crucial to speak openly with my midwife about my struggles. Together, we were able to create a personalized plan that included several effective coping mechanisms. I share these tools in this post, hoping that they may be useful to others who are experiencing similar challenges during their postpartum period.
However, it’s essential to keep in mind that every individual’s situation is unique, and it’s always recommended to seek guidance from a qualified healthcare professional who can provide tailored advice and support.
It’s not easy for us moms to ask for help and it’s even more so not easy to talk about mental health struggles, but it’s absolutely imperative for your health and for your baby who needs you!
- Rescue Remedy
One thing that really helped me during my postpartum journey was a natural and quick-acting remedy called Rescue Remedy. This flower essence spray was a game-changer for me as it provided almost immediate relief from anxiety and irritability. I kept a bottle in multiple places, including my kitchen counter, car, and baby’s diaper bag, so that I was always prepared.It was especially helpful for me during the mornings, which were particularly rough with three kids to get ready and out the door while my husband was at work. I would take a couple of sprays of Rescue Remedy before starting my day, which helped me stay calm and focused. If you’re struggling with anxiety or irritability during postpartum, I highly recommend giving this natural remedy a try. - Loop Earbuds
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by loud noises, then consider giving these earbuds a try. While I never thought noise would be an issue for me, having a household full of kids can change things quickly. For me, it’s not just the loudness of the noise, but also the constant nature of it that can push me to my limit.With these earbuds, the decibel levels are brought down to a more manageable range, making it easier to handle and preventing your anxiety or frustration from building up too quickly. I personally have this specific one – Loop Engage – as it’s best for parenting! - Working Out
Becoming a mother can be an all-consuming experience, where the needs of our children often come before our own. It’s easy to put our own self-care at the bottom of the priority list, especially when we are dealing with postpartum depression and anxiety. I was guilty of this myself, and it wasn’t until my midwife reminded me of the positive impact of exercise on mental health that I started to make it a daily priority.Initially, I committed to just 10 minutes of movement a day, but even this small amount of exercise produced feel-good endorphins that helped improve my mental well-being. Plus, taking even just a few minutes for myself each day helped me feel more centered and in control. Over time, I gradually increased my workout time to 20-30 minutes a day, and the benefits have been immense. As mothers, it’s important to remember that taking care of ourselves is just as crucial as taking care of our children. - Talking to Your Spouse (or a loved one)
Admitting to your partner or loved ones that you are struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety, or anger/rage can be incredibly challenging, but it’s crucial to vocalize your thoughts and feelings to prevent feelings of isolation and loneliness. Sharing your struggles with someone you trust can provide a sounding board and help you feel less alone in your experiences.
For instance, during my own journey, there were days when negative thoughts consumed my mind, leading me to believe that I was a bad mother and that I was failing my kids. However, by opening up to my husband about how I was feeling, I was able to receive the support and validation I needed to move forward. Although my emotions felt overwhelming at times, having someone to hold space for me and help me contextualize my feelings was invaluable in navigating this difficult period. -
Remember, it’s okay to not be okay, and seeking support is a brave and necessary step in addressing postpartum mental health concerns.
Breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is often touted as the best way to feed your baby, but it’s not always easy. Many women experience sore/cracked and bleeding nipples, engorgement, and even mastitis, a painful infection that requires antibiotics if it’s not caught in the early stages.
If you’re struggling with breastfeeding, don’t give up. Seek help from a lactation consultant, and consider using a breast pump to relieve engorgement. Remember, fed is best, whether it’s breast milk, donated milk, or formula.
Breastfeeding my last two babies was quite the adventure… both of them ended up having food allergies so severe that I had to change my diet to accommodate them not receiving small amounts of it in my milk.
I’m currently five months along in my breastfeeding journey with my son and his allergies have gotten really bad. I’ve eliminated all the foods that my daughter was allergic to and he keeps having flare-ups. It’s super super discouraging and some days all I want to do is cry and switch him to formula, but that’s a battle in itself with a kid with allergies. We would have to spend so much time finding the right formula that doesn’t trigger an allergic reaction. So, for now, we are cutting out all the things and fine-tuning as we go as we wait to get into an allergist.
I’m sharing this to give you hope that regardless of the way/what you choose to feed your baby – breast milk or formula – there will always be something that pops up that you’ll have to navigate through!
Sleep Deprivation
Say goodbye to eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Especially in the beginning!
Sleep deprivation is perhaps the biggest challenge of motherhood. Your newborn will wake up every two to three hours to feed, and sometimes they’ll have trouble going back to sleep. This can leave you feeling exhausted, irritable, and forgetful. (And maybe a little mean in the middle of the night when your husband is snoozing away through the cries. It happens! I still love ya babe 😉 )
Everyone and everywhere you look says – to nap when your baby naps, but how realistic is that? Sure, maybe if it’s your first baby that’ll happen a handful of times, but all moms, regardless of being a first-time mom or not, have things they’ve gotta do!
For me personally, it’s really hard for me to sleep when my baby is sleeping… naps and nighttime. So, sometimes my husband would hold our third baby so that I could get some uninterrupted sleep where I knew for sure my baby was being watched and cared for intently by my husband. I get the worst nighttime sleep anxiety with my babies the first couple weeks and if you’re like that too – please find a way that you can get enough sleep because it’s definitely not healthy to not sleep.
Body Changes
First of all, it’s okay to not feel like yourself.
Your body goes through a lot during pregnancy and childbirth. You may have stretch marks, a “mom pooch,” or other physical changes that make you feel self-conscious. Remember that it takes time for your body to heal and adjust, and it’s okay to not feel like yourself right away.
It took you 9-10 months to create life so be gentle on yourself and give yourself a realistic goal of feeling like 100% yourself once your baby is 9-10 months old.
Focus on taking care of yourself. Eat healthy, nourishing foods, and make time for exercise when you’re feeling up to it. It can be easy to skip meals when you’re in the middle of the newborn cycle of sleep, change their diaper, feed them, burp them, and do it all over again every 30 minutes to an hour.
But don’t skip meals! Ask a family member or friend to start a meal train for you for the first six weeks after giving birth. Even if you get one meal from someone a week – anything helps!
And don’t forget to take care of your mental health too. Self-care is not selfish; it’s necessary for your well-being and that of your baby.
Postpartum is a challenging time for many women, but it doesn’t have to be a lonely one. Seek help when you need it, and remember that it’s okay to not have it all figured out. As the saying goes, “It takes a village to raise a child,” and that includes supporting new moms. You’ve got this, Mama!